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Why god makes it hard on me day by day?
I would've drunk all the drugs in the world if that is the solution I must choose. I can't take it anymore. My quest is pointless. Whining is never good but the embarrassment will never be cured. I hope that I won't disturb anyone anymore unpleasantly if I have to die any sooner--especially to the people closest to me (which number is approaching zero). I hope that it will make a huge difference in this world if someone could realize how bad it is for an individual like me, suffering like me. Perhaps, the uncountable sum of virtual friends would give me a pinch of relief. It perfectly hides my solitariness. Ironically, no matter what I do, I will always be alone in the 3D reality. Forever.